A Key To Intimacy In Marriage - COMMITMENT

One of the key factors to increasing intimacy in your marriage relationship is COMMITMENT.

It will make the greatest impact on the quality of your marriage. It is foundational to establishing an atmosphere of trust and mutual love and respect. Every other key factors to intimacy will build upon the foundation of commitment. Unfortunately, our current society does not value commitment over other priorities like self-fulfillment and personal happiness. Many people don't know how to make an enduring commitment of self-sacrifice to another person.

A Committed Marriage is the entry into a lifetime of memories with one other special person. 

  • Years from now you will be amazed at the memories you have accumulated. 
  • Not only the quantity of memories are important, but also the quality. 
  • What will make the difference in the number of quality of memories you gather? 

One simple word — commitment.

Here is a good definition of commitment?

com·mit·ment

  • a promise to do or give something over time.
  • a promise to be loyal to someone or something over time.
  • the attitude of someone who works very hard to do or support something over time.

 Here is a powerful example of commitment:  During the 1800s in Hawaii, the government developed a policy to take care of those who were afflicted with leprosy.

They were sent to the island of Molokai to live their remaining days in isolation. The policy was: out of sight, out of mind. The afflicted were allowed, however, to be accompanied by a Kokua—a person who chose to go with them and be with them for the rest of their lives until the leprous person died. If the Kokua had not contracted the disease, he or she was then allowed to return home. If leprosy had been contracted, however, the Kokua remained in Molokai until death. In James Michener’s book Hawaii, the story is told of a man who noticed a numbness setting into his toes and fingers. In time, he knew what it was. One evening after dinner he told his wife and children he had leprosy. His wife looked at him and said, “I will be your Kokua.” 

This is the substance of marital commitment.

What are the commitments you need to make in your marriage?

  1. Commit yourself to seeing your partner as having worth, value, and dignity. Remind yourself of this daily.
  2. Commit to giving your marriage top priority in terms of time, energy, thought and planning for growth.
  3. Commit yourself to a life of fidelity and faithfulness, regardless of your feelings or the lure of life around you.
  4. Commit to never use the “D” word (divorce) in any conversation with your spouse and eliminate any escape clause from your marriage.
  5. If you are in a Christian marriage, commit yourselves as a couple to prayer. No greater intimacy can occur than when you open your hearts to God together. This will enhance your completeness and oneness as well as help put your differences and adjustments into a better perspective. When the lines are open to God, they are invariably open to one another. You cannot be genuinely open to God and closed to your partner.

How would you define the commitments you have made to your marriage? 

John Isaacs